BITESIZE | How to Be Your Own Therapist | Dr Julie Smith #379
Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist, discusses developing self-awareness and mental well-being. She shares tools like metacognition to gain distance from thoughts, practicing acting opposite to urges, and journaling to process emotions and gain clarity.
Deep Dive Analysis
6 Topic Outline
Understanding and Responding to Thoughts and Feelings
Practicing Acting Opposite to Urges
Developing Metacognition: Thinking About Your Thoughts
Mindfulness: What It Is and How It Helps
Dr. Julie Smith's Personal Mindfulness Experience
The Power and Practice of Journaling
3 Key Concepts
Acting Opposite to Urges
This is the practice of intentionally doing the opposite of what an emotional urge compels you to do, especially when the urge would lead to negative outcomes. It helps build awareness and control over automatic reactions, allowing individuals to act based on their values rather than immediate feelings.
Metacognition
Metacognition is the ability to think about one's own thoughts, allowing for a 'bird's eye view' of mental processes. This skill creates distance from thoughts, enabling individuals to observe them for what they are rather than being controlled by them, thereby reducing their power.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the process of staying in the present moment by observing thoughts as they arise without judgment, and gently guiding attention back to a chosen focus. It is not about stopping thoughts or achieving perfect concentration, but about practicing the mental muscle of choosing which thoughts to pay attention to and which to let pass.
5 Questions Answered
No, thoughts and feelings are not facts, and while they come with urges, you don't have to act on them. You can choose to act opposite to an urge, especially if following it would lead to negative outcomes.
You can practice in lighthearted ways, like trying not to crunch a polo mint, to build awareness of urges and the ability to resist them. This skill helps you act based on your values instead of immediate feelings.
Metacognition is the ability to think about your own thoughts. It allows you to gain distance from your thoughts, seeing them for what they are rather than being controlled by them, which reduces their power.
Mindfulness is the process of staying in the present moment by observing thoughts without judgment and gently guiding your attention back to a chosen focus. Its purpose is to practice the mental muscle of choosing which thoughts to pay attention to and which to let pass.
Journaling helps diffuse thoughts by putting them on paper, providing clarity and allowing you to see them for what they are. It serves as an accessible tool for self-reflection, especially for those who may not have access to therapy or find it difficult to talk about their emotions.
8 Actionable Insights
1. Prioritize Values Over Urges
When faced with an urge, consciously choose to act based on your values rather than immediate feelings. This practice helps build resilience and align your behavior with your deeper principles.
2. Practice Opposite Action
If you have an urge that typically leads to negative outcomes (e.g., staying in bed when feeling overwhelmed), deliberately act opposite to that urge. Reflect on the different outcomes to learn what serves your well-being.
3. Cultivate Metacognition
Develop the ability to observe your own thoughts from a detached perspective, like holding a mask at arm’s length. This creates distance, reducing the immediate power of negative thoughts and allowing you to see them for what they are without being controlled.
4. Train Urge Resistance
Build your ability to resist urges by practicing in lighthearted, low-risk situations (e.g., not crunching a mint). This strengthens your awareness and control, which can then be applied to more challenging, real-life scenarios.
5. Engage in Mindfulness
Practice mindfulness by intentionally bringing your attention back to the present moment whenever your mind wanders. View your mind as a theater and your attention as a spotlight, choosing what to focus on and allowing other thoughts to pass.
6. Journal for Clarity
Regularly engage in journaling as a powerful tool to gain clarity on your emotions and diffuse from overwhelming thoughts. The act of writing thoughts down helps you observe them objectively and understand their nature.
7. Deconstruct Experiences in Journal
When journaling, reflect on past experiences by breaking them down: describe what happened, distinguish between thoughts and feelings (including physical sensations), identify urges, note whether you acted on them or against them, and analyze the impact of your choices. This process helps reveal connections and influences between different aspects of your experience.
8. Dedicate Undistracted Family Time
Intentionally take dedicated, undistracted time off with family, especially during breaks like summer, to foster quality connections and strengthen relationships.
4 Key Quotes
You have a feeling that and it'll come with an urge. So you'll have an urge to do something or do a certain act, but you don't have to go with it.
Dr. Julie Smith
When you get a bit of distance from your thoughts, you go, Oh yeah, gosh, that's really, that's a lot of self-criticism right there. It takes some of the power out of it just by holding it on as the length.
Dr. Julie Smith
Mindfulness is noticing that your mind has gone somewhere and then guiding your attention back.
Dr. Julie Smith
Mindfulness isn't about making you feel calm and peaceful. It's not a relaxation exercise. It's practicing that sort of mental muscle, if you like, to be able to choose which thoughts you're going to pay attention to and which ones you're going to let pass.
Dr. Julie Smith
1 Protocols
Journaling for Self-Reflection
Dr. Julie Smith- Start by reflecting on what happened, such as 'he said, she said' or 'I did this and I felt that'.
- Distinguish between what you thought (words or pictures in your head) and how you felt (where you felt it in your body, the physical sensation).
- Tease apart the different aspects of your experience, looking at what you felt, what you thought, what the urges were, whether you acted on them, and the impact of those actions.
- Reflect on experience and try to break it down into detail to see connections between things.