BITESIZE | How to Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit | Mel Robbins #309

Nov 4, 2022 Episode Page ↗
Overview

Guest Mel Robbins, a motivational speaker, introduces her 'High 5 Habit' to transform self-perception. She explains how a simple daily mirror high-five can build self-compassion, resilience, and optimism by leveraging neuro-associations and dopamine release.

At a Glance
1 Insights
15m Duration
13 Topics
3 Concepts

Deep Dive Analysis

Introduction to Mel Robbins and the High Five Habit

The High Five Habit: Initial Description and Timeline

The Problem of Self-Rejection in the Mirror

Mel Robbins' Personal Origin of the High Five Habit

Immediate Internal Shift from the High Five

Profound Impact and Self-Excitement on Day Two

Realizing the Neglect of Self-Partnership

The Challenge of Practicing Self-Love

Self-Rejection and the Thirst for External Validation

The High Five Habit as a Physical Action for Self-Worth

Neuro-Association and Universal Meaning of a High Five

The Dopamine Release Mechanism of Self High-Fiving

Broader Impact on Resilience and Self-Compassion

High Five Habit

A morning routine involving high-fiving your reflection in the mirror, designed to shift your internal relationship from self-criticism to self-celebration. It leverages the universal positive neuro-association of a high five to foster self-respect and encouragement.

Neuro-Association

The subconscious programming in your brain where specific actions or symbols are linked to particular meanings and emotional responses. The act of a high five, for instance, is universally associated with encouragement, celebration, and support, triggering these feelings even when performed on oneself.

Self-Rejection

A common pattern of thinking and behavior characterized by focusing on flaws, self-criticism, or avoiding one's reflection. This habit, as described, leads individuals to seek external validation because their sense of worth is not internally grounded.

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What is the High Five Habit?

It's a simple morning routine where you high-five your reflection in the mirror, designed to shift your internal relationship from self-criticism to self-celebration and encouragement.

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How long does it take for the High Five Habit to work?

Mel Robbins states it takes five days to experience an enormous breakthrough in how you see and relate to yourself, leading to chemical, physiological, neurological, physical, and psychological changes.

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Why do people struggle to look at themselves in the mirror?

According to Mel Robbins' research, 50% of men and women avoid looking in the mirror because they are either disgusted or disappointed by their reflection, or they focus on perceived flaws.

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How does the High Five Habit help with self-love and self-kindness?

It provides a physical action that demonstrates self-respect, belief, forgiveness, and encouragement to your brain, leveraging the universal positive neuro-association of a high five to trigger positive internal shifts.

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What is the scientific basis for the High Five Habit's effectiveness?

The brain releases dopamine when you high-five yourself, similar to when someone else high-fives you, because it doesn't distinguish between the two actions. This dopamine release contributes to feelings of optimism and resilience.

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Can the High Five Habit solve major life problems?

No, it doesn't remove external problems like poverty, discrimination, or trauma, but it changes your internal relationship with yourself and strengthens your belief in your ability to address these challenges.

1. Practice the High Five Habit

Every morning after brushing your teeth, look at yourself in the mirror and give your reflection a high five without saying anything. This physical action leverages universal neuro-associations and dopamine release to foster self-respect, encouragement, and a belief in your own worth, shifting your mindset from self-criticism to self-compassion.

From my research, 50% of men and women do not or cannot look at themselves in the mirror because they are either disgusted by the person they see or they are disappointed by them.

Mel Robbins

Life can turn that switch off, but it's still there. There was something about this high-five action that felt like a flip, like the switch flipped on.

Mel Robbins

We all know that we're supposed to love ourselves. We all know that we're supposed to be kind to ourselves... The problem is how, right? How do you do that?

Mel Robbins

It is neurologically impossible to high five yourself and think you're a loser. You failed. I don't like your face. Your brain will not allow you to do it because the neuro association is so entrenched.

Mel Robbins

The high five is not going to remove poverty. It's not going to remove discrimination... It doesn't change those things. It changes you.

Mel Robbins

The High Five Habit

Mel Robbins
  1. Every morning after brushing your teeth, put your toothbrush down.
  2. Look at the human being in the mirror.
  3. Take a moment to acknowledge them.
  4. Raise your hand and high-five your reflection.
  5. Do not say anything; let the physical action speak.
50%
Percentage of men and women who cannot look at themselves in the mirror Based on Mel Robbins' research, due to disgust or disappointment.
53
Mel Robbins' age at the time of the recording Stated by Mel Robbins herself.
April 2020
Month and year Mel Robbins discovered the High Five Habit The specific morning she first high-fived her reflection.