How to Achieve Anything You Want in Life with Marie Forleo #86
Marie Forleo, a US entrepreneur, writer, and optimist, discusses her book "Everything Is Figureoutable." She shares strategies to overcome perfectionism, comparison, and excuses, promoting a growth mindset to help listeners take action and transform challenges.
Deep Dive Analysis
17 Topic Outline
The Irreplaceable Value of Your Unique Gifts
Marie Forleo's Philosophy: Everything Is Figureoutable
Avoiding Burnout by Aligning Work with Purpose
The Tragic Impact of Disengagement and Unhappiness
Origin Story of the 'Everything Is Figureoutable' Phrase
Marie's Personal Journey Applying the Figureoutable Mindset
Addressing Skepticism: The Figureoutable Philosophy Rules
Perfectionism as Self-Abuse and the Power of Progress
Understanding Fixed vs. Growth Mindsets
Navigating Social Media: Comparison as Creative Kryptonite
The Importance of Creating Before Consuming
Why Your Unique Voice and Contribution Matter
Eliminating Excuses: The Distinction Between 'Can't' and 'Won't'
Reframing Mistakes: The 'I Win or I Learn' Approach
Inspiring Story of Overcoming Addiction with Figureoutable Mindset
Building a Supportive 'Figureoutable Force Field' Community
Common Themes from Interviews with Influential People
8 Key Concepts
Everything Is Figureoutable
This philosophy asserts that all problems or dreams are solvable, unless they are unchangeable facts of life like death or gravity. It encourages individuals to find solutions creatively and persistently, emphasizing that a lack of solution often stems from not caring enough about the problem or dream.
Perfectionism
Described as 'self-abuse of the highest order,' perfectionism is a destructive mindset often tied to fear of not being good enough and comparison to others. It hinders creativity and productivity, leading to mental health issues, unlike healthy high standards which focus on excellence and progress.
Progress, Not Perfection
This mantra encourages focusing on taking steps forward, learning, and growing, rather than striving for an unattainable ideal. It acknowledges that progress is often a non-linear journey involving setbacks and failures, which are viewed as opportunities for growth and experience.
Fixed Mindset
A belief that one's talents, abilities, and skills are inherent and unchangeable, meaning you either 'have it or you don't.' This mindset is limiting, toxic, and often leads to avoiding challenges, operating from scarcity, and feeling disempowered.
Growth Mindset
The understanding that talents, gifts, and abilities are merely starting points and can be developed and improved over time through effort, dedication, and learning from failure. This mindset embraces challenges as opportunities for growth and skill development.
Comparison Is Creative Kryptonite
This concept highlights that comparing oneself to others, especially through social media, is a losing proposition that drains creative energy and leads to feelings of inadequacy. It encourages individuals to focus on their own unique gifts and contributions rather than measuring themselves against others.
Can't vs. Won't
A distinction in language where 'can't' often serves as a euphemism for 'won't.' When people say 'can't,' they feel powerless, but reframing it to 'won't' (meaning 'I don't want to' or 'it's not my priority') empowers them by acknowledging their choice and agency.
I Win or I Learn
A framework for viewing challenges and setbacks not as failures, but as opportunities for growth. This perspective eliminates the concept of 'losing' by reframing every experience as either a success or a valuable learning opportunity that contributes to progress.
10 Questions Answered
Burnout is often more about the quality of work rather than the quantity. Engaging in work rooted in deep belief, care, and a sense of contribution can prevent exhaustion, even during intense periods, as it provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
The core message is that every problem or dream is solvable, and the solution is already within you. It's about reactivating your inherent power and strength to transform or transcend any challenge you face, regardless of its difficulty.
The three rules are: 1) All problems or dreams are figureoutable. 2) If a problem isn't figureoutable, it's a fact of life (e.g., death, gravity), not a problem. 3) If you don't care enough to solve a problem or reach a dream, that's okay; find something you do care deeply about and return to rule one.
Overcoming perfectionism involves understanding that it's a self-destructive fear of not being good enough, often fueled by comparison. The solution is to adopt the mantra 'progress, not perfection,' focusing on learning, growth, and consistent effort rather than an unattainable ideal.
A growth mindset is crucial because it fosters the belief that abilities and skills can improve through effort and dedication, embracing challenges as learning opportunities. This contrasts with a fixed mindset, which limits potential by assuming talents are static and unchangeable, leading to avoidance of growth.
Social media can be 'creative kryptonite' by fostering constant comparison, leading to feelings of inadequacy and taking individuals off track from their own unique gifts. It encourages consuming others' work rather than creating one's own, leading to a 'compare Schlager hangover' of dissatisfaction.
When people say 'can't,' it often implies powerlessness and helplessness, making them feel like victims. Replacing it with 'won't' (meaning 'I don't want to' or 'it's not my priority') empowers individuals by acknowledging their choice and agency, leading to a more proactive mindset.
Mistakes should not be seen as losses but as learning opportunities. Adopting the mantra 'I win or I learn, but I never lose' reframes setbacks as natural parts of a non-linear journey, providing valuable experience and insights for future progress.
You need to build a 'figureoutable force field' or a supportive community, starting with just one person. The strategy is to support others in their dreams, and in return, you may find a kindred spirit who will support you. This can be done online or offline, as finding connections is also figureoutable.
A common theme among successful individuals is a profound belief in their ability to make a difference. They believe their contribution, voice, ideas, products, or services have merit and value, and are worthy of sharing with the world.
28 Actionable Insights
1. Say “Everything is Figureoutable” Aloud
Say “Everything is Figureoutable” out loud as often as possible throughout your day to embed this belief, create new neural pathways, and train your brain to focus on solutions with creativity, innovation, and resilience.
2. Cultivate a Growth Mindset
Understand that your talents and skills are starting blocks, not fixed limits; embrace challenges and failures as opportunities to grow and improve through effort and dedication.
3. Distinguish “Can’t” From “Won’t”
Break free from excuses by understanding the distinction between “can’t” and “won’t”; recognize that “can’t” is often a euphemism for “won’t,” meaning you don’t want to make the effort or sacrifice.
4. Strive for Progress, Not Perfection
Focus on making consistent progress rather than aiming for unattainable perfection, as this mindset increases work quality, allows for learning from failures, and fosters continuous growth.
5. Create Before You Consume
Build the habit of creating before consuming by engaging in activities like meditation, writing, or working out before checking social media, email, or news, to shift your ratio towards more creation and less passive consumption.
6. Share Your Unique Voice
Recognize that your genius is unique and unrepeatable; share your dreams, gifts, products, or messages with the world, as your voice is needed and you are stealing from those who need you most if you don’t.
7. Believe You’re Not Broken
Experiment with the idea that you are not broken, but rather have unhelpful ideas or habits, which opens your mind to new possibilities, curiosity, learning, and experimentation, fostering hope and creativity.
8. Build a Supportive Community
Create a “figureoutable force field” by building a supportive community around you, starting with just one person, to help you navigate challenges and achieve your dreams.
9. Focus on Controllable Actions
When facing challenges, identify and focus on the things you can control and the actions you can take, rather than dwelling on what’s beyond your influence, to feel empowered and make progress.
10. Reframe Mistakes as Learning
View all “mistakes” as learning opportunities where you extract growth, rather than losses, to foster a mindset that continuously moves you forward.
11. Mind Your Language
Be mindful of the language you use to describe your life and situations, as subtle shifts in words can profoundly change meaning and permeate into your brain and being, shaping how you define yourself.
12. Pursue Meaningful Work
To avoid burnout and exhaustion, focus on the quality of your work by ensuring it’s rooted in something you deeply believe in, care about, or contributes to others. This makes intense work enjoyable rather than grueling.
13. Do What Makes You Alive
Combat fatigue by actively engaging in activities that make you feel alive, as fatigue often stems from a lack of engagement in meaningful pursuits, not just overwork.
14. Take Immediate Action
From every inspiring conversation, identify at least one actionable tip and apply it to your life immediately, ensuring that inspiration translates into concrete action and tangible change.
15. Practice Self-Compassion
Release guilt and feelings of not “winning at life” by practicing self-compassion, especially when prioritizing important roles like being a parent, as this can paradoxically open up more energy, time, and freedom.
16. Stop Comparing Yourself
Cease comparing yourself to others, as “the moment you compare, you lose”; instead, enjoy your own life, honor others’ journeys with compassion, and stay rooted in your unique path.
17. Apply Figureoutable Rules
Use the three rules of the “figureoutable” philosophy: 1) all problems/dreams are figureoutable, 2) if not, it’s a fact of life, and 3) if you don’t care enough, find something you do care about, to guide your problem-solving.
18. Embrace Hard Work for Solutions
Understand that finding solutions to challenging problems or dreams requires time, hard work, and perseverance, accepting that you may stumble along the way, but ultimately you will find a way to transform or transcend the challenge.
19. Support Others’ Dreams
Initiate building your supportive community by sharing the “figureoutable” philosophy with a potential “running buddy” and offering support for their dreams, rather than immediately asking for support on your own.
20. Seek New Ideas and Tools
Actively seek out and expose yourself to new ideas, tools, and concepts that can help you live the life you desire, recognizing that a lack of exposure, not inherent brokenness, may be the barrier.
21. Empower Children with Growth Tools
Equip children with tools, mindsets, and healthy perspectives to grow from challenges and adversity, rather than shrinking from them, preparing them for inevitable life struggles.
22. Apply Principles to Health
Apply the “figureoutable” principles to making health changes in your life, as these universal truths are highly applicable to improving how you feel and live.
23. Try Vivo Barefoot Shoes
Get 20% off Vivo Barefoot shoes and a 30-day free trial by visiting vivobarefoot.com/livemore to experience minimalist footwear benefits for mobility and pain.
24. Pre-order “Feel Better in 5”
Pre-order “Feel Better in 5” (available in UK, Australia, New Zealand, India) to access a practical, 5-minute daily program for health and well-being, currently offered at half price for pre-orders on Waterton’s and Amazon.
25. Read “The Four Pillar Plan”
Read “The Four Pillar Plan” (or “How to Make Disease Disappear” in US/Canada) to gain a blueprint for health and well-being in the 21st century, filled with practical take-home tips.
26. Read “The Stress Solution”
Read “The Stress Solution” to identify sources of stress in your life and learn simple, practical tips to manage it, helping you feel happier and calmer in response to the 21st-century health epidemic.
27. Join/Start Podcast Club
Join or start a “Feel Better Live More” podcast club on Facebook (DrChatsG4PillarCommunityTribe) to connect with like-minded people, discuss episodes, and share insights in person.
28. Support Podcast with Review/Share
Support the podcast by leaving a review on your listening platform (e.g., Apple Podcasts) and sharing screenshots on social media to help spread the word to friends and family.
6 Key Quotes
If you don't actually bring that thing to life and do everything in your power to share it, you are stealing from those who need you most. Why? Because there never has been and there never will be another you. Your genius is unique and your DNA is unrepeatable.
Marie Forleo
Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.
Marie Forleo (quoting an unnamed source)
Comparison is creative kryptonite.
Marie Forleo
The most important words in the universe are the words that you say to yourself.
Marie Forleo
Everything that is not forbidden by the laws of nature is achievable given the right knowledge.
David Deutsch
No matter how many times something has been said or done before, sometimes it takes that one person in their voice at the right time for it to actually make a difference. And you who's listening right now, you are that someone for someone out there.
Marie Forleo
4 Protocols
The Figureoutable Philosophy Rules
Marie Forleo- Rule number one: All problems or dreams are figureoutable.
- Rule number two: If a problem isn't figureoutable, it isn't a problem, it's a fact of life (e.g., death, gravity, certain laws of nature).
- Rule number three: You may not care enough to solve this particular problem or reach this particular dream, and that's okay. Find something you do care deeply about and go back to rule number one.
Overcoming Comparison and Increasing Productivity
Marie Forleo- Recognize how you feel after engaging with your phone or social media (your 'compare Schlager hangover').
- Stop engaging with feeds if they make you feel bad; you have the ability to end it.
- Choose to follow people who genuinely inspire you.
- Spend the vast majority of your time creating, not consuming.
- Build the habit to create before you consume (e.g., meditate, write, workout before checking email or news).
Building a Figureoutable Force Field (Supportive Community)
Marie Forleo- Identify at least one person you care about who might be open to this philosophy.
- Share the 'Everything Is Figureoutable' philosophy and ideas with them.
- Support them on their dreams, rather than immediately asking for support on your own.
- If the first person isn't the right fit, try someone else until you find at least one person who is open to the idea and can support each other.
- Utilize online connections (DMs, emails) to find kindred spirits if local connections are not available.
Daily Practice for a Figureoutable Mindset
Marie Forleo- Say the words 'Everything is figureoutable' out loud as often as you can.
- Incorporate this practice throughout your day: upon waking, showering, during lunch, taking a walk, or before bed.