Overcoming Physical & Emotional Challenges | Coleman Ruiz
Coleman Ruiz, a former Tier One U.S. Navy SEAL, shares his journey from childhood through elite special operations, detailing physical and emotional challenges, including PTSD and hitting rock bottom. He vulnerably discusses the role of mentors, family, and self-discovery in his resilience and redemption.
Deep Dive Analysis
16 Topic Outline
Coleman Ruiz's Childhood and Early Life
Impact of Wrestling and Combat Sports
Parents' Divorce and Naval Academy Application
Naval Academy Prep School Experience and Patriotism
Naval Academy Life, Mentorship, and Meeting His Wife
Navy SEALs Selection and BUD/S Predictors
Transition to Tier One Special Operations
Coping with Teammate Deaths and Grief
Impact of Mentor Doug Zembeck's Death on Perspective
Adjusting to Civilian Life and PTSD Struggle
Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey Framework
Exploring Psychedelics and Warrior Culture Connection
Experiencing Severe Depression and Seeking Help
The Healing Process: Therapy, Pharmacology, and Support
Current Daily Routines and Life Philosophy
Redefining Manhood and the Concept of Surrender
9 Key Concepts
Dispersal (Adolescence)
A phenomenon observed in animals and humans around adolescence, characterized by chaotic exploration of new environments. This behavior is driven by hormonal shifts and changes in neural circuitry, representing a fundamental shift in underlying brain function.
Growth Mindset
The belief that one can achieve a desired level of competence or skill through sufficient hard work and effort, even if they are not currently at that level. This concept implies that abilities are not fixed but can be developed over time.
Hero's Journey (Monomyth)
A 17-stage narrative cycle, as described by Joseph Campbell, that outlines a common pattern of adventure, transformation, and return found across various cultures and myths. It provides a framework for understanding personal growth and life transitions.
Refusal of the Return
A specific stage in the Hero's Journey where the individual, having gained significant knowledge or experience (the 'ultimate boon'), resists returning to their ordinary world. This resistance can stem from fear of not being understood, inability to handle the consequences of their transformation, or finding the ordinary world too mundane.
Master of Two Worlds
A stage in the Hero's Journey where an individual successfully integrates their extraordinary experiences (e.g., military service) with their ordinary life (e.g., civilian existence). This involves learning to hold these seemingly opposing life experiences in balance within one's identity.
Freedom to Live
The final stage of the Hero's Journey, achieved after successfully navigating the return to the ordinary world and integrating all life experiences. It signifies a state of living fully and authentically, having reconciled the different phases of one's journey.
Lexithymia
A term used to describe difficulty in putting language to one's emotions or internal experiences. This can make it challenging for individuals to articulate their feelings, particularly during periods of psychological distress.
Unsatisfactoriness (Dukkha)
A concept from Buddhist philosophy referring to a low-grade, constant irritation or a pervasive feeling that something is not quite right in one's life. It describes a subtle but persistent sense of unease or incompleteness.
Time-Space Bridging
A perceptual exercise that involves expanding one's visual field to look further out into the environment and then back to one's immediate surroundings. This practice can help to expand one's perception of time and provide a broader perspective on current challenges.
9 Questions Answered
Anecdotal observations from Coleman Ruiz as an instructor suggest three strong predictors: being a varsity athlete in high school or college, having divorced parents, or having been suspended from school.
For Coleman, having divorced parents instilled a feeling of being alone without a team, creating a powerful drive to not quit and stay with the military unit, viewing it as a new family.
This often indicates a 'wild fuck you factor' or a streak of rebellion against authority, which can be adaptive in chaotic combat situations where rigid rules may not always apply effectively.
The Hero's Journey is a 17-stage monomyth describing a universal pattern of adventure and transformation. For veterans, the 'return' stages, particularly the 'refusal of the return,' are critical for integrating extraordinary experiences back into ordinary civilian life.
Many veterans, like Coleman, may experience a 'refusal of the return' stage from the Hero's Journey, struggling to integrate their intense military experiences with the perceived mundaneness or lack of understanding in the civilian world.
Yes, Coleman Ruiz describes his experience with severe depression as physically agonizing, feeling like his chest was filleted open and scorched from the inside, highlighting the intense somatic component of psychological distress.
For many, including Coleman, the process often starts at a 'rock bottom' moment, where the pain of staying the same becomes worse than the pain of change, prompting a search for help and a willingness to confront difficult emotions.
Coleman explains that building an identity around toughness and self-reliance makes it terrifying to admit vulnerability, as it feels like betraying that persona, even though opening up often elicits support.
Medications like low-dose Wellbutrin can provide temporary 'space' or distance from intense emotional pain, allowing individuals to engage with therapy and other healing processes more effectively by modulating neurochemistry.
20 Actionable Insights
1. Engage with Hero’s Journey
Utilize Joseph Campbell’s ‘The Hero with a Thousand Faces’ framework to understand and navigate transitions from extraordinary experiences back to ordinary life, ensuring one processes the ‘refusal of the return’ stage rather than skipping it, which can lead to feeling trapped.
2. Seek Professional Help for Depression
When experiencing severe depression or emotional pain, seek help from trusted individuals and professional therapists. Recognize that it’s not a sign of weakness and requires immense effort to overcome, often needing external support and a step-by-step approach.
3. Prioritize Talk Therapy for Healing
Engage in consistent, full-time (e.g., once a week) talk therapy with a skilled therapist, especially when facing deep-seated emotional challenges, even if there’s an initial resistance to seeking help.
4. Outsource Decisions During Crisis
During periods of severe mental distress or impaired judgment (‘foggy goggles’), outsource critical decisions and temporarily allow trusted individuals to ‘hold’ your identity and beliefs, as your own judgment may be impaired.
5. Open Up to Trusted Friends
Overcome the fear of judgment and open up to trusted friends and community members about your struggles; people often respond with support and empathy, not judgment.
6. Address ‘Low-Grade Pain’
When experiencing persistent ’low-grade pain’ or a sense of unsatisfactoriness, uncertainty, or unease, communicate these feelings to a trusted individual rather than trying to fix it alone or intellectualize your way around it.
7. Cultivate Range in Manhood
Cultivate a broad ‘range’ of behaviors and mindsets, embracing both protective instincts when necessary, but also developing kindness, calmness, and gentleness, recognizing that a complete person integrates various traits beyond traditional aggressive archetypes.
8. Practice Surrender and Listening
Practice surrendering to life’s uncontrollable realities and actively listen, rather than resisting or attacking every problem, as this can lead to less painful and more effective navigation of challenges.
9. Channel Wild Energy
Channel aggressive or ‘wild’ energy into structured physical activities or combat sports, which can improve discipline, academic performance, and reduce unproductive conflict.
10. Adopt a Growth Mindset
Believe that with enough hard work and effort, you can achieve desired skill levels and overcome challenges, fostering continuous improvement and resilience.
11. Develop Healthy Skepticism
Develop a healthy skepticism towards established rules and norms, especially in chaotic or unpredictable environments, to foster adaptability and independent problem-solving.
12. Stabilize Before Plant Medicines
If considering plant medicines for psychological healing, first stabilize your situation with slow, deliberate, and professional therapeutic guidance to contextualize experiences and provide post-experience integration support. Avoid intense psychedelics as a ’nuclear option’ without prior preparation.
13. Consider Short-Term Pharmacology
If recommended by a physician, consider short-term, low-dose pharmacological assistance (e.g., Wellbutrin) to create ‘space’ or distance from overwhelming emotional pain, facilitating other therapeutic processes.
14. Eliminate Alcohol During Distress
Consider eliminating alcohol, especially during periods of emotional distress or depression, as it can significantly improve sleep and physical fitness, contributing to overall well-being.
15. Engage in Regular Physical Activity
Engage in regular physical activity (e.g., 5 days/week training, 2 days/week sauna) to maintain mental clarity and emotional well-being, especially when feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
16. Implement 90-Minute Coffee Delay
Wait 90 minutes after waking up before consuming coffee to improve sustained energy levels throughout the day and avoid an afternoon crash.
17. Adopt Light Grazing Eating
Adopt a light grazing eating pattern, consuming small meals or snacks frequently throughout the day (e.g., 8 times/day), rather than large, infrequent meals, to support sustained energy and physical fitness.
18. Simplify Life, Cut Bullshit
Simplify your life by eliminating unnecessary commitments and ’extra bullshit,’ focusing on core responsibilities, close relationships, and purposeful activities rather than constantly seeking external achievements or piling up a busy schedule.
19. Ensure Adequate Hydration
Dissolve one packet of Element in 16-32 ounces of water first thing in the morning and during physical exercise to ensure proper hydration and electrolyte balance (sodium, magnesium, potassium) for optimal brain and body function.
20. Utilize Yoga Nidra/NSDR
Practice Yoga Nidra or Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR) for 10-minute sessions to greatly restore levels of cognitive and physical energy.
8 Key Quotes
If you have some good idea this afternoon, like, let's go fucking try this, I'm good. I'm ready.
Coleman Ruiz
If you have fighters of any type, like, in a setting, when they don't have to do, you know, the stuff for TV and whatnot, they respect each other because – and they respect the effort.
Coleman Ruiz
I felt like every day I had to wake up and earn my place there. I was never good enough for myself ever. So next day up is a restart to prove myself again on whatever standard I'm picking that day.
Coleman Ruiz
If Doug can be killed, all fucking bets are off. They're all off. Like, if I didn't respect the rules before and didn't think society was particularly ordered in a way that I respected, you know, shit that I think is made up, I knew when Doug was killed that it's all fucking made up. Like, he was supposed to be the immortal one. And if he's not, none of us are.
Coleman Ruiz
The most shocking thing was how shocked I was. It was like, if I had known something like this was real... the most shocking thing was that, again, this could happen to me.
Coleman Ruiz
If you do something to hurt yourself, you will have proven to every person who knows you that you are a fucking liar and a fraud. Everything you've been about your whole life is a fraud.
Coleman Ruiz's friend (recounted by Coleman Ruiz)
You don't change until the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of change.
Coleman Ruiz
Don't mistake my kindness or weakness. There's a category for everything, and I think that makes you such a much more complete person.
Coleman Ruiz
2 Protocols
Tier One Military Freefall Procedure
Coleman Ruiz- Pre-breathe oxygen for 30 minutes.
- Jump from 25,000 feet, equipped with helmet, night vision, 100 pounds of gear, and weapon.
- Operate in zero-light conditions, using infrared (IR) lights and night vision for visibility.
- Fly the canopy multiple miles to land precisely on the designated drop zone.
Post-Trauma and Depression Healing Process (Coleman Ruiz's Experience)
Coleman Ruiz- Stabilize the situation through slow, deliberate help, such as consistent talk therapy with a skilled clinician.
- Consider pharmacology (e.g., low-dose Wellbutrin) to create 'space' from intense emotional pain, if necessary.
- Eliminate alcohol consumption to improve overall well-being and sleep quality.
- Prioritize and optimize sleep, aiming for consistent bedtimes (e.g., by 10:30 PM).
- Maintain regular physical activity (e.g., training 5 out of 7 days, using a sauna 2 out of 7 days).
- Outsource decisions and identity to trusted friends or mentors when feeling overwhelmed or unable to trust one's own judgment.
- Open up and ask for help from trusted individuals, recognizing it as an act of strength.